"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
-Steve Martin
"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Drew Carey
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience. But as meaningless experiences go, it's one of the best."
--Woody Allen
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Unknown
"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
--Rodney Dangerfield
"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it difficult for him to come out of the closet."--Bill Kelly
"As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen."
--Rev. Sydney Smith
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Woody Allen
"Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
--Sam Austin
"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."
--George Burns
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
--Matt Barry
"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Camille Paglia
"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest
of your life."
--Michael Sinz
"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
--Woody Allen
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--Henry Miller
"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments
to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."
--Lynn Lavner
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
--P. J. O'Rourke
"There's nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed."
